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For blasphemy fetishists

by Diane Vera

Copyright © 2004 by Diane Vera. All rights reserved.

  1. What is blasphemy fetishism?
  2. Non-fetishistic blasphemy rites vs. blasphemy fetishism
  3. On combining sexuality with spirituality
  4. Keeping yourself sane while living in a crossfire
  5. For those who yo-yo between Satanism and Christianity
  6. Enjoying your fetish
  7. Resources for blasphemy fetishists
  8. Feedback wanted

  1. What is blasphemy fetishism?

    A blasphemy fetishist is a person who gets sexually aroused by blasphemy, and who feels a longterm, frequent, ongoing need for that particular turn-on.

    I'm not a blasphemy fetishist myself. However, years ago, I used to be very active in the BDSM scene, and I've known many fetishists of many kinds. I've also heard from quite a few blasphemy fetishists during the past year. So, I may have some useful insights.

    Blasphemy fetishists seem to be in the minority among theistic Satanists (those who seriously worship Satan as a deity). In this article, I aim to address some behind-the-scenes tensions that have arisen between some blasphemy fetishists and other participants in the Theistic Satanism forums.

    If you're a blasphemy fetishist, you are definitely not alone. In fact, I would suspect that there are more blasphemy fetishists out there than there are Satanists. Most are probably not Satanists. I've heard from several blasphemy fetishists who are still Christian, and I suspect that there are many more out there.

    It does not mean you are demon-possessed. A blasphemy fetish isn't really any more remarkable than any other sexual fetish. If your religious background was sexually repressive, then it's only natural to be turned on by the thought of striking back at the source of the repression. For some people, it's only an occasional turn-on. For others, it's a full-blown fetish.

    Although it isn't really all that terribly strange, a blasphemy fetish can nevertheless put you in a very uncomfortable position spiritually, to a greater degree than almost any other fetish.

    As I said, it is likely that there are many blasphemy fetishists out there who are not Satanists. Most likely, I would expect that the majority are still Christian -- and tormented by endless guilt and fear, while at the same time getting off on that very same guilt and fear.

    Note: A blasphemy fetishist is not just anyone who gets turned on sexually by the thought of performing a blasphemy rite. You're a blasphemy fetishist only if you feel an ongoing need for that particular turn-on.

  2. Non-fetishistic blasphemy rites vs. blasphemy fetishism

    Blasphemy fetishism is quite different from the usual use of blasphemy in Satanism. The latter isn't just, or even primarily, a sexual thing, although it can and often does have a sexual component.

    For most Satanists, I would recommend rites of blasphemy only occasionally, as a way of freeing oneself from irrational fears and inhibitions. (See The purpose of blasphemy in Satanism.) For most Satanists, I would not recommend rites of blasphemy as a routine practice. Routine rituals should focus on Satan Himself, not on His enemy or on whatever else you want to free yourself from.

    On the other hand, a blasphemy fetishist would naturally want to perform rites of blasphemy often. While you do have the right to perform them as often as you like, you should be advised that frequent rites of blasphemy are at least potentially problematic, if you're a theistic Satanist. Unlike the normal Satanist use of occasional blasphemy rites, a blasphemy fetish does not free you from the influence of the Christian "God." On the contrary, it is more likely to keep you in a perpetual spiritual crossfire, opening you up even further to the influence of the Christian "God" -- even though your blasphemy rites may give you a temporary feeling of freedom.

    In general, if you're a dedicated worshipper of any god, it can be problematic to pay too much attention to that god's avowed enemies. For example, in the African Diaspora religions, it is considered very dangerous for a dedicated priest/ess of Oya to pay too much attention to Yemaya, and vice versa. Likewise for Chango vs. Ogun.

    For this reason, it seems to me that most blasphemy fetishists would probably be best off embracing some religion other than either Christianity or Satanism. (That is, assuming that one has a fetish for anti-Christian blasphemy in particular.) Best would be a religion which (1) is liberal enough not to frown upon sexual variations and (2) has nothing whatsoever to do with either the Christian "God" or Satan. If you're a blasphemy fetishist, such a religion would let you keep your sexuality and your spirituality completely separate. You could still indulge your fetish, but in a much more lighthearted and carefree manner. You would be far less likely to drive yourself crazy.

    Still, if you're a blasphemy fetishist, you do have the right to be a theistic Satanist too, if that is what you truly want. And you do have the right to perform rites of blasphemy as often as you wish. But be advised that the combination of theistic Satanism and frequent blasphemy rites does mean, most likely, that you'll be living in a spiritual crossfire, with great risks to your mental health and general well-being. You have the right to take those risks, but you should at least be aware of them. The remainder of this article will contain suggestions on how to deal with some of the pitfalls.

  3. On combining sexuality with spirituality

    If you are both a blasphemy fetishist and a theistic Satanist, or if you are a blasphemy fetishist who is feeling drawn to theistic Satanism, please consider the following:

    First, it is indeed possible to be both a blasphemy fetishist and a theistic Satanist. But the two are not the same thing. Theistic Satanism is a form of spirituality, albeit an unusual form of spirituality. It is not a sexual fetish.

    You should become a theistic Satanist only if you feel drawn to Satan for more reasons than just a sexual turn-on. Ask yourself these questions: (1) Do you have any desire to worship Satan outside the context of either sex or blasphemy? (2) Does Satan mean more to you than just "sin" and "Evil"? (See Satan and "Evil" in Christianity (and Satanism).) If your answer to either of these questions is "No," then you probably do not have sufficient reason to become a theistic Satanist. Enjoy your fetish, but please do not confuse it with spirituality.

    There are legitimate ways to combine spirituality with sexuality. Mystics through the ages have compared spiritual experience to sex. Even in the Bible, the Song of Solomon is an erotic love poem. More recently, Thelemites and some other occultists practice sex magick. There are even legitimate spiritual uses for BDSM, since some BDSM practices can be trance-inducing. However, all of these are not the same thing as just being so obsessed with an erotic fantasy that your brain turns to mush.

    If you are both a blasphemy fetishist and a theistic Satanist, then please remember that Satan is more than just a figment of your sexual fantasies. Do not allow your sexual fantasies to dictate your theology. For example, suppose you're turned on by sadistic or masochistic fantasies about tabloid-style "Satanic rituals" involving human sacrifice. It doesn't follow that Satan actually wants us to commit ritual murder. (See Why "Satanic ritual crime" doesn't make sense even from a Christian point of view, and see "Ritual abuse" and "occult crime" witchhunts.) Even if your fantasies aren't so extreme, your theology still should not be based on what turns you on sexually. Enjoy your fantasies, but don't confuse them with real life. Your theology should be based on careful reasoning about what is likely to be true, and on what seems to work in your life in general.

    Theistic Satanist blasphemy fetishists tend to emphasize "Evil" (and the "nastier" aspects of Satan) to a greater degree than most other theistic Satanists do. Partly this is because many blasphemy fetishists are also into BDSM. I don't have a problem with this as long as your theology doesn't reduce Satan to those aspects -- and as long as it doesn't translate into an excuse for violent criminal activity. I encourage all theistic Satanists to acknowledge that Satan is a multi-faceted entity, neither "purely evil" (a Christian value judgment) nor purely a Mr. Nice Guy either.

    I don't think it likely that Satan would be offended by your fantasies. Even if they involve an extremely narrow and thoroughly nasty Satan-concept, I would expect Satan to be amused, if anything. However, you should distinguish between your fantasy and your actual religious concept of Satan. The latter will hopefully be much broader than the former.

    If you see Satan as "pure evil" even in your religious concept, then you are probably very much under the influence of the Christian "God" -- however much you may hate that "God" at the moment. I would expect you to convert to either Christianity or Islam at some point in the future, at least temporarily. It is highly unlikely that you, or anyone, could continuously revere an entity whom you yourself regard as "absolutely evil," even from your own point of view. (See Elliot Rose on the absurdity of "Evil" as a principle. See also, again, Satan and "Evil" in Christianity (and Satanism).) There is honor among thieves....

  4. Keeping yourself sane while living in a crossfire

    If you are both a blasphemy fetishist and a theistic Satanist, then -- even more so than most theistic Satanists -- you NEED to look deeply and carefully at your spirituality on a philosophical level.

    Alas, most of the blasphemy fetishists I've run into seem disinclined to think rationally about spiritual matters at all. After all, thinking rationally isn't nearly as much fun as fantasizing about blasphemous lasciviousness.

    But you do NEED rational thought. Anong other things, you need it to help you counter the influence of the Christian "God." Your fetish will naturally tend to reinforce Christian beliefs. To counter this, examine the philosophical arguments both for and against traditional Christian beliefs. Participate in some religious debate forums -- preferably the brainier ones. (Look for forums with words like "apologetics" and "theology" in the forum description, and make sure that the forums welcome debate between Christians and non-Christians. Do NOT use these forums as a place to indulge your fetish. Use them as a place to make yourself THINK.)

    But don't let religious debate become too much of an ongoing obsession, either. Take breaks. If possible, every now and then, spend a few weeks having absolutely nothing to do with Christians or Christianity.

    Also, spend time looking at other religions besides Christianity and Satanism. Even if you're absolutely sure you want to be a theistic Satanist for the rest of your life, looking at other religions will help you develop a more sophisticated understanding of Satanism, less dependent on the Christian worldview. Study various kinds of occultims and magick too.

    Also, of course, you should explore the many different kinds of theistic Satanism itself. Your Christian-influenced fantasies will most naturally lead you into a form of Christian-based duotheism. However, Christian-based duotheism is both (1) very unlikely to be true and (2) an inherently very crazy-making belief system. So, you should consider the philsophical objections against it. (See, for example, Post-Copernican natural theology and The here-and-now principle in theology.) There are many other interpretations of who and what Satan is. Consider them carefully and decide what makes the most sense to you.

    Besides developing your rational mind, you should also spend time developing your spirituality outside the context of your fetish. Learn to meditate. Perform some rituals that just honor Satan without blaspheming the Christian god or anything else. Also, try to honor Satan in a well-rounded way, honoring His many aspects, rather than focussing just on those aspects that happen to turn you on sexually. (See, for example, my recommended standard ritual format.) Draw close to Satan and fill yourself with His strength.

    Another thing that can help you stay sane is a sense of humor. Every now and then, treat yourself to writings by such folks as the Church of the Subgenius -- a parody religion which pokes fun at many different religions. See also Counter-evangelistic humor on my Counter-Evangelism site.

  5. For those who yo-yo between Satanism and Christianity

    I've heard from several blasphemy fetishists who have bounced back and forth, repeatedly, between Christianity and a form of theistic Satanism. If both religions are taken seriously, then such yo-yo-ing can be quite terrifying. It is certainly not good for one's mental health.

    I've heard similar personal histories from a few Satanists who were not blasphemy fetishists, too. But I'd expect spiritual yo-yo-ing to be most common among blasphemy fetishists. Frequent ritualized blasphemy can feed an obsession with the thing blasphemed. (That's one reason why, for most Satanists, I don't recommend blasphemy rites on a more-than-occasional basis.) Conversely, each return to Christianity feeds the blasphemy fetish, which in turn can feed an obsession with Satanism as well as Christianity, and in any case can drive the person crazy with guilt and inner conflict.

    If you've been yo-yo-ing, here is my advice:

    First, do not assume that your sexual kinks will go away someday, and that you'll then be able to settle down into a nice, normal Christian life. While sexual kinks do mutate over time, to some extent, it is rare for a kinky person to become "normal." So, if you're now leaning toward Christianity ... well, it's going to be tough. Even in a very "non-legalistic" yet otherwise conservative or mainstream form of Christianity, it seems to me that your fetish would never stop causing you quite a bit of distress, even if you don't have a terror of condemnation. Hence, if your primary spiritual leaning is toward Christianity, chances are you'll never be able to get off the merry-go-round. At best, you'll be able to tell yourself (perhaps truthfully) that your occasional "Satanism" is just a sexual fantasy, and that you don't really worship Satan on a spiritual level. But it will still be an awfully crazy-making cycle, at least if you take your Christianity at all seriously.

    If you're young and single, do not assume that your sexual kinks will go away when you meet the right man or woman. If you make such an assumption, then most likely you'll end up cheating on your spouse. Don't set yourself up for such a situation, if you can avoid it. To have any chance of a workable marriage, you'll need to marry someone who shares at least some of your kinks -- and with whom you have plenty of nonerotic things in common, too. (Don't base a relationship just on sex.)

    If you're willing to live with an endless guilt-and-forgiveness merry-go-round, that's your decision. I wouldn't be able to stand it myself. And be advised that you may be hurting other people besides yourself, e.g. your spouse, your lover, or your potential future spouse or lover.

    It seems to me that the only way to get off the merry-go-round would be by leaving Christianity for good -- or at least any form of conservative or mainstream Christianity. You might conceivably find peace within some very modern, liberal form of Christianity which allows you to distinguish sharply between reality and masturbatory fantasy. However, the New Testament does prohibit "committing adultery in your heart," which is commonly understood as a prohibition on sexual fantasy of any kind, let alone blasphemous sexual fantasy. Even in a very "non-legalistic" yet otherwise conservative or mainstream form of Christianity, it seems to me that your fetish would never stop causing you quite a bit of distress, even if you don't have a terror of condemnation.

    However, stopping yourself from yo-yo-ing will be a challenge even if you are now leaning toward leaving Christianity altogether. You CANNOT stop yourself from yo-yo-ing just by performing a rite of irrevocable blasphemy such as the renunciation rite. Without adequate preparation, performing the renunciation rite will only terrify you even more, thereby intensifying your obsession with Christianity. So, I would strongly suggest that you not perform the renunciation rite until you are much better prepared on other levels. Likewise, do not make an oath of dedication to Satan without even more preparation.

    To stop yo-yo-ing, start looking at religion on a more philosophical level for a change. You absolutely NEED to spend quite a bit of time thinking about your spirituality on a rational level.

    If you've never deeply questioned Christianity before, do so now. Don't assume that Christianity must be the absolute truth merely because it's the religion you happen to have been brought up with. If you were brought up Hindu, you would probably be a Hindu.

    One Christian-leaning blasphemy fetishist has told me that he avoids questioning Christianity because, to him, questioning Christian beliefs feels even more sinful than blasphemy, but without the compensation of being a sexual turn-on. In other words, he feels that intellectual honesty is a grave sin.

    The only sensible way to approach any major life decision is to ask lots of questions. Wouldn't it be convenient for realtors and used car dealers if their customers were convinced that it was a sin to question them? Even many Christians would not agree that questioning Christianity is more sinful than blasphemy, or even that it's a sin at all. A refusal to question one's own beliefs is just plain stupid and lazy.

    If you have already looked at some of the arguments for and against Christian beliefs, start examining other aspects of Christianity besides what you've looked at before. For example, if you've already questioned Christianity quite a bit on a moral level, start focussing on other issues like Biblical contradictions and Biblical history. On the other hand, you've never thought of the Christian "God" as anything but "pure Good", then consider the many Bible-sanctioned cruelties and other Biblical nastiness.

    You also should strongly consider the possibility that it might be best for you to embrace some other religion besides either Christianity or Satanism. Look at Buddhism and Neo-Paganism, for example. If you can find another religion which both (1) makes sense to you philosophically and (2) accepts sexual variety, then, as I mentioned earlier, you still can continue to enjoy your fetish, but in a much more worry-free manner. Don't reject a liberal religion on the mere grounds that its easygoing tolerance doesn't turn you on sexually. Of course, you shouldn't blindly accept any religion, either. Accept a religion only if it both makes sense to you and benefits you in some way. But do take the time to explore a variety of religions.

    You should also consider whether you have any real reason to believe in any religion or god at all. Should you decide to become an atheist, then your life could become even simpler. (I'm not an atheist, but I don't believe that Satan is so vain as to be offended by people not believing in Him. Even Christians have acknowledged this by saying things like, "The Devil's greatest lie is that he doesn't exist.") Whatever decision you make, let it be an intellectually honest one, based on what truly makes sense to you after you've spent a reasonable amount of time investigating these matters.

    If your attraction to Satanism is more than just sexual, then, concurrently with your study of various other religions and of Christian apologetics and counter-apologetics, you should also think very carefully about Satanist theology. Explore the many different kinds of theistic Satanism. Consider them carefully and decide what makes the most sense to you. Take your time about this. Don't just latch on to the first thing that appeals to you and immediately dedicate yourself to it for life.

    Whatever spiritual path you choose, if any, the important thing is to start THINKING about your beliefs, rather than just vacillating between guilt/fear and rebellion. Also, explore other aspects of spirituality, such as meditation.

    I would recommend the renunciation rite only after you've managed to stabilize yourself through spending quite a bit of time (at least a year, maybe longer) on study and wide-ranging exploration. The purpose of the renunciation rite should not be to force yourself into a commitment, but merely to banish any remaining purely irrational fears after you've already left Christianity for good..

    And a dedication rite should wait even longer. (See Pacts and self-initiation.) I would not recommend an oath of dedication to Satan until you've been a theistic Satanist continuously for at least a few years. Only then can you be reasonably sure that you'll be able to keep that oath.

  6. Enjoying your fetish

    Regardless of your spirituality, there's also the separate question of how best to enjoy your fetish.

    If you choose to indulge your fetish in any manner involving other people, please do so in a responsible manner. I would strongly recommend that you read up on and follow (at least for the most part) the social norms of the BDSM community. Even if you're not into BDSM per se, the BDSM community has developed some good ways to ensure that one's activities are consensual, safe, sane, and fun for all parties concerned.

    Please avoid indulging your fetish nonconsensually. For example, don't walk up to random Christians or go into Christian chatrooms and scream blasphemies at them. If you do that sort of thing, you're not serving Satan; you're just being a jerk. Harassing Christians does not challenge their faith in any way. On the contrary, it only strengthens their faith, by feeding their persecution complex.

    If you truly do want to challenge the beliefs of Christians, then I would suggest that you try to do so only via either reasoned arguments or subtle enticements. But that's an entirely separate matter from gratifying a blasphemy fetish.

    To gratify your fetish, I would suggest, for example, consensual fantasy roleplaying in which one person utters a long string of blasphemies while the other person pretends to be an outraged Christian. If you combine this with a BDSM scene, then either the blasphemer or the outraged Christian could be either the top or the bottom. Possible variations are endless.

    Also, of course, there are many possible variations on the Black Mass and similar rituals.

    Play safe and have fun!

  7. Resources for blasphemy fetishists

    If you're aware of any websites or forums devoted to blasphemy fetishism, please let me know and I'll list them on this page, provided that they display a responsible attitude. This includes:

    1. A safe, sane, and consensual approach to sexuality, in line with the standards of the BDSM community -- at least for the most part, though it's okay to question some of the rules.

    2. An awareness of what real-life theistic Satanism is, as distinct from blasphemy fetishism. (A prominent link to this article would be helpful in this regard.)

    3. An awareness of the difference between fantasy and reality in general. Thoroughly nasty fantasies are okay, but they should be clearly labeled as fantasy.

    One of my reasons for writing this article is to encourage blasphemy fetishists to form a community with a responsible attitude, similar to the BDSM community and assorted other fetish communities. (For more information about the BDSM community, see the sites listed on the Google directory pages on BDSM FAQs and tutorials, BDSM organizations, and BDSM resources.)

    Whether the rest of us theistic Satanists like it or not, there are plenty of blasphemy fetishists in the Satanist scene, and they aren't going away. It is pointless to tell them to go away. But we might be able to convince them to form a responsible community. If they can do that, then hopefully other theistic Satanists will have less reason to feel embarrassed by blasphemy fetishists.

  8. Feedback wanted

    This article is based on the blasphemy fetishists I personally have been in contact with -- who, I'll admit, do not constitute a scientific sample of all blasphemy fetishists. So, there's a strong likelihood that I may have misprepresented blsaphemy fetishists in general in some important way, or that I may have left out something important. If you're a blasphemy fetishist, I would welcome your suggestions for improvement of this article. Please post your comments in a approprate one of the Theistic Satanism forums or contact me via private email.

    If you participate in any of the Theistic Satanism forums, feel free to mention that you are a blasphemy fetishist, and feel free to discuss it, but please do not engage in blasphemy fetish hot chat there. Remember that the majority of theistic Satanists do not share your fetish and do not see Satanism as primarily a sexual thing.

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